MERCY

Daniel 9:18

18 “O my God, lean down and listen to me. Open your eyes and see our despair. See how your city—the city that bears your name—lies in ruins. We make this plea, not because we deserve help, but because of your mercy.”

As I read this God spoke to me showing me His mercy and His magnificence.  It is by nothing other than His mercy that we continue on in His grace.   It’s not that we deserve His help even though we are forgive, but it is by His mercy that we commune with Him.  It gives me a glimpse of the humility I need to have as I come to God.

This is changing the way I see my relationship with God.

STANDING IN THE FACE OF PERSECUTION

Daniel 3:16-18

16 Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego replied, “O Nebuchadnezzar, we do not need to defend ourselves before you. 17 If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God whom we serve is able to save us. He will rescue us from your power, Your Majesty. 18 But even if he doesn’t, we want to make it clear to you, Your Majesty, that we will never serve your gods or worship the gold statue you have set up.”

It seems clear to me that we in the US experience persecution in a much different way than the rest of the world and most of the time it’s the emotional persecution we receive.  It seems to me that we are very self-indulgent and often come out of it saying “look what I’ve done” or attempt to have a righteous heart about it.  I think we miss the point when we fight our way through it. 

Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego  went into saying (my words obviously) “This is what it is, but make no mistake, there is but one God.”  I’m not naive enough to think I wouldn’t personally be shaking in my boots in this situation or that I wouldn’t have been searching frantically for a way out.  Maybe they were even scared beyond anything I’ve ever felt, but they had a belief and in the face of fear stood strong.  This took a monstrous amount of faith in what they believed.

For some they know nothing but standing firm in what they believe, but for me I am learning to stand for those things that deserve to be stood for or are tantamount to my faith and taking on or letting go of all the others as they come.

GOD IS LISTENING

Daniel 10:11-12

11 And the man said to me, “Daniel, you are very precious to God, so listen carefully to what I have to say to you. Stand up, for I have been sent to you.” When he said this to me, I stood up, still trembling.

12 Then he said, “Don’t be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day you began to pray for understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your request has been heard in heaven. I have come in answer to your prayer.”

This was an amazing passage to me (for more background read Daniel 10 and 11).  There were multiple things that hit me when I read this chapter but there were 2 very significant things that struck me more than any else.

The first, that God responded to Daniel the moment the words of his prayer escaped his lips.  After reading this chapter I became fully aware that there is more to prayer than I can comprehend and also it’s cruciality in the events of life. 

Second, that there are events that occur that may delay Gods response to our plea’s that we will never see or be aware of.  That in of itself is reason enough for our patience and continuing to pray when we don’t see God taking action in our lives right away.

GOD GIVES US STRENGTH

Daniel 10:15-17

15 While he was speaking to me, I looked down at the ground, unable to say a word. 16 Then the one who looked like a man^[f] touched my lips, and I opened my mouth and began to speak. I said to the one standing in front of me, “I am filled with anguish because of the vision I have seen, my lord, and I am very weak. 17 How can someone like me, your servant, talk to you, my lord? My strength is gone, and I can hardly breathe.”

This, in concept, is one of my favorite pictures of God’s concern for us.  There are times in my life where I feel like I’ve been sucker punched and I get all of the life sucked right out of me.  I end up on my knees and feel like I have no idea how to correct my course or handle the issue in front of me, at home and at work.

The picture of this angel standing over Daniel, touching him on the shoulder is the picture I have of myself after being blind sided and feeling hopeless.  I feel my spirit fill with desire to stand, my wits come back to me and hope erupts from inside of me that lets me know I will stand and fight, that God is now in control and I will find my way.

WRAPPING IT UP

God’s gift to us is a relationship with Himself that brings love, comfort, mercy, bravery, hope and strength.  What an amazing God we serve!

Lord you are so incredible and capture my heart in the times when I least expect it.  You constantly amaze me.  Your love for me, and why, I will never understand but I know that you do and I rest in that.  Lord, I am thankful that you are there at every turn in my life waiting for me to seek you out. 

God grant me mercy though I deserve none.  Give me peace in the middle of the storm.  Touch my heart and give it strength and hope as I lay my life at your feet Lord.  Bless me Lord, I will never let go.  I will finish the fight on my back or on my feet, but I will fight the fight you call me to and I will give you all of me.  Help me to carry on in strength and confidence that you are standing beside me.  Help me to know you more so that I can be pleasing to you and that you would call me your friend.  Give me your grace, make me clean so that I can see you Lord.  Thank you that you are faithful, patient and merciful.  Lord give me wisdom that I might lead my house.  Teach me Lord so that I can bring peace to my home and the one’s that I love.  Help me Lord, to be faithful to the things you have taught me. 

You are who you are, unchanging. I am so thankful for that…

Lord it is in faith and the name of your son Jesus Christ that I pray and ask for these things.

Amen.

Lately, I’ve been learning a lot about learning to be thankful and also learning what it means to forgive.  In my marriage, at work, with family and friends, I have a lot to be thankful for.  It is so easy to take it all for granted.  It is also easier to hold grudges than it is to forgive.   Before this journey I would have said its easier to hold grudges because you don’t have to work through to find resolution.  But that’s not what makes it easier.  I think it’s because I find that the hurt is more familiar.  I want to change that. (Plus resolution isn’t required for forgiveness!)

I’ve recently come across a book called “Total Forgiveness”, it was written by R. T. Kendall.  I’m learning that forgiveness needs nothing from the other party and requires constant work.  The ideas are very simple and make all the since in the world.  The story of Joseph and also Christ on the cross are perfect examples of forgiveness.  Finding forgiveness is really finding peace and allows us to soften our hearts toward the person that offended us and toward God so that nothing gets in the way of finding intimacy with Him.

He also wrote a book that I’m reading called “Just Say Thanks!”.  Both topics provide us the tools for mercy and grace towards others.  That is something worth spending my time on!

With Love,

Zach

Knowledge can be communicated, but not wisdom. One can find it, live it, be fortified by it, do wonders through it, but one cannot communicate and teach it.

-Hermann Hesse

Anyone have thoughts on this one?

I can tell you from experience though, that while there is definitely an upside there is also a tremendous down side.  I tend to get obsessive. 

Recently, I read a book that ended up being about demon possession, so me in all of my infinite wisdom started contemplating whether demon possession is a thing of the past or something that I think still happens.  And that’s where it started. 

It only took me a day to pick up a book “Hostage to the Devil”, which was very interesting, and began my search for answers.  I came across a story in that book, all true from what I understand, where I saw a lot of myself in one of the priests.  Willingness to question things was part of who he was/is.  From that, I saw the effects of his studies on the people around him.  But that isn’t even the point of this blog, just a realization that I think God was showing me.   

I started to share what I was researching with my wife and she cautioned me about breaching the subject with my questioning.  I think her words were more like “you need to leave this one alone”.   My grandfather was reading my blog recently and sent me an email just a few days ago regarding an entirely different post saying “prayer and faith is the answer to it all and doubt helps us grow when we take it to the lord.  as the song goes, we will understand it better by and by so stick yo your bible. there is more wisdom than all the books”.  Since my Grandpa’s email came after I laid the issue down I saw this as confirmation that my wife was right about this one.

For a seeker like me I think they are both right, there are just certain things you do not broach, or invite into your life voluntarily, if there is reason or cause then it’s a different matter.  I can’t tell you what the internal struggle was like to put issue down before I had formed conclusions to about 10-15 questions I wanted answered.  It took me a day before I completely let the issue go.  In the end I know that outside of it all Christ said in Luke 10:20 “However, do not rejoice that the spirits submit to you, but rejoice that your names are written in heaven.”

My focus needs to be on God, and while we can often walk a very thin line it is wonderful to know that our God, the creator of the universe, is watching over us, slightly nudging me in the right direction to keep me on course.

I do believe that the battles we fight spiritually involve demons and I do believe that miracles still happen, I do believe that we are filled with the power and authority God has granted to us.  I do believe that the most powerful thing of all is that we are loved by the one who is and will always be, Him who is the beginning and the end, the creator of all things, and our Lord and our Savior Jesus Christ the Son of the Living God.

Amen, Hallelujah!

Recently I heard a program on the radio where there was a discussion about the recent discovery (past 40-50 years) of the term self-esteem.  The individual talking about it was discussing how embracing the need for self-esteem is in part responsible for the condition of our youth in the world.  She went on to say that this seems to be the root of the MySpace, Facebook and YouTube phenomenon.  The desire and the need to feed your Self-Esteem is masking itself with the need to been seen and heard. 

According to a Wikipedia definition, in psychology, self-esteem or self-worth includes a person’s subjective appraisal of himself or herself as intrinsically positive or negative to some degree. 

I agreed with a point she was making about our seemingly obsessive search for a positive self-esteem.  If you listen to your heart, isn’t there something that strikes you about esteeming yourself that is just not quite right?

In a book I’m reading the author states that evil’s primary objective is to destroy the light (God’s influence in things).  Evil’s secondary objective is to go unnoticed, so much so that you might not spot evil at work but once out of every 50 occurrences.

Just like most things Satan sets out to do he creates nothing but a cheap imitation of the original.  Take for instance God’s love to Satan’s lust, God’s anger to Satan’s Rage or God’s patience to Satan’s complacency.  Each of these are only slightly different than their counterparts, but in the end, one leads to glory and the other to death.

Self-esteem I think is one of those imitations of God’s creation.  It’s a slightly different slant on self-respect I think.  One leaves us feeling valuable and accepted when we look to God, while the other leads us to the complete opposite and ultimately needing to be heard and valued.  I think we all seek to be valued and accepted at times.  We are all human, we sin and fall short, essentially we are all “bad”, but in Christ we are forgiven and infinitely valuable. 

Self-esteem I think is something the world tells us we need.  I think God tells us that not only do we not need it but, that it is the opposite of what he wants to give us.  We don’t really want to be seen, we really want to be cradled by our Savior.

It only takes a slight movement off course to take us in the end,  hundreds of miles from our destination. 

She is in a Bible study where a question prompted a response from her that went something like this “Sometimes I try to think of myself different than I am so that I can make God think I’m better than I am.  I fool myself into feeling certain things so that I feel like a good person in God’s site.”

Isn’t interesting how typical this is?  When we date our savior we don’t treat Him any different than those we dated when we were single.  We get tied up trying to show him only the parts of us we want him to see.

God knows our hearts, he wants us to be real, not for His sake but for ours.

Psalms 32:5

Then I acknowledged my sin to you 
and did not cover up my iniquity. 
I said, I will confess 
my transgressions to the LORD.
And you forgave 
the guilt of my sin.

The thing that strikes me here are the last two lines.  “You forgave the guilt of my sin”. God wants to free us of the imprisonment of the things we try to hide from Him.

Amazing…

I often wonder what drives my need to understand things.  This point obviously highlights a potential struggle with blind faith.  As I was in bed about to fall asleep the other night my mind started racing through this and other thoughts about a search for wisdom and knowledge and the story of Job and how this all relates to my desire for a more intimate relationship with God.  So I started praying.

In a nutshell this is the abbreviated version what I came up.

Knowledge by itself is empty, emotionless, words on a page, words spoken, words received.  Knowledge is a tool to accomplish a task, like a spade, a hammer or a screwdriver. 

Rarely do I actually seek just the knowledge I gain from reading a book.  I read so that I can understand things better, other times I read for entertainment, but I think school is the last time I read anything purely just for knowledge.

Understanding is the value of knowledge just as wisdom is the value of understanding.  But there is a small twist, understanding does not complete wisdom.  Meaning it isn’t understanding alone that brings wisdom.

Searching for God’s character is a search for understanding that brings us closer to Him.  Understanding has the potential for a greater intimacy with Him.  But that’s where the search for understanding has to be dropped and faith steps in.  It is faith that truly builds intimacy with God. 

The wisdom in faith is that there are times we know that we will never understand…

When I was young I had the desire is to fit in with my peers.  As I grew older, I had a desire to find out who I am and what I believe.  After that I slowly transitioned into finding what makes me unique, what sets me apart from everyone else.  Now I’m kind of at this place where I don’t want to fit in I want to be special and I don’t want to be like everyone else, I want to be a better me.

I have always felt that I have a greater purpose in this life, that I was placed here to be a part of something bigger than myself.  For the most part I think this came after I accepted Christ around the age of 8 maybe earlier.  I felt like God called me to preach early in my life, soon after I accepted Christ as a matter of fact.  I think I was around 8 or 9 when I felt that.  It was a very real experience to me when I felt that call.  It was maybe 15 years later that I felt that call again.  And if you don’t know me personally, no I am not a preacher.  I don’t think this means that God does or doesn’t still have that plan for me. 

I do feel that he has a purpose for me, and it always feels just beyond me as to what it is.  I kind of liken it to when I’m talking with someone and I might be describing something, I know what word I want to use to describe a thought and it’s right there on the tip of my tongue but I just cant get it out.

Purpose is a big 50 pound thought.  Like many things with God though, it is as infinitely complex as it is simple.  Purpose can be hard to get your head around when placed in the context of God’s purpose for your life. 

The simplicity of it, I think, is that If there were to be only one purpose in our lives God’s purpose for us would be this, to love, to find intimacy with him.  I think that love is at the core of everything God wants for us in this life.  It is in that one purpose that we find evidence of the power of God.  Some of my reasoning, and probably most fully, on this comes from 2 verses, Deuteronomy 6:5 and Matthew 22:39-40.  God said, “Love the Lord your God with all of your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength”.  Jesus states Duet 6:5 clearly as the most important commandment, then he adds the second most important commandment in Matt 22:39-40 “Love your neighbor as yourself.”. 

Webster’s Dictionary defines purpose as “something set up as an object or end to be attained”.  This would mean that our purpose is to attain a state of intimacy or love with God with our entire being and loving those around us.  Obviously, the intimacy here is not the kind that is synonymous with sex or a lustful, envious or jealous kind of infatuation. No, it’s an overwhelmingly honest, pure, giving, receiving, serving, humble kind of love, pure and holy .

I imagine that when we find intimacy, true, honorable intimacy in our relationship with God we will find fullness in all facets of our lifes with a since of a purpose that is much greater than ourselves.

Many things have been on my mind lately.  I have been reading a lot, which I love.  Recently I’ve been reading a lot of books by Ted Dekker.  Ted Dekker is a fantastic author who has very refreshing views of our relationship with God.

One of the things that I find myself constantly checking is whether a belief or understanding of a topic in my relationship with God is because of experience or because of denominational or a “religious” teaching that I accepted as truth at some earlier point in my life.

Even now, as I talk to friends, as I work through thoughts and ideas, I find that at times I can hit a “wall” with them.  At times, I find that I am debating against their upbringing, acceptance of religious ideas or  denominational teachings in some way. I have had others encourage me to not try to figure things out but to just accept that God is bigger than me.  While there is no doubt the later is true, I find that the wall they are throwing up is one of a couple of things.  One, it could be because they would rather not be talking about whatever the topic is (highly possible, I can get pretty boring).   Two, because they have been taught not to question and to just accept.  I think this obviously has it’s place when we hit the limit of our understanding.  Three, some people aren’t wired so that they have a drive to understand things.  Four, I’ve found that some things that I challenge can leave my relationship with God feeling naked.  I think for the most part questions of this nature leave people feeling scared and would often rather stay away because they have no certainty about where they will end up.  It can be like getting ready to go to the mall, striping off my dirty clothes, putting nothing else on and walking into the crowded place with nothing covering my insecurities about what I believe, leaving me feeling incredibly vulnerable.

I think the fourth idea about uncertainty and vulnerability is as common as any other.  I’ve been down this road a number of times only to discover that it has left me with a shaky relationship with God at best.  Each of the times I choose to take that road it is always very painful spiritually and emotionally.  There was a period during one of these times that I found myself doubting God seriously because of information that someone had given me.  I questioned and researched this information for about 2 years (maybe a little less).  By the time I exhausted my time, energy and my relationship with my wife to all of my questioning I had digested thousands of pages of information.  I found myself questioning of some previous beliefs.  In the end I found the journey to be an exhausted path with nothing but endless what ifs to this information that a friend had passed on to me.  But that was all there was, no facts, just endless assumption.  There was only God to turn to and saw me through it and brought me back around to a point of faith and eventially my faith stronger than when I started.

It seems to me that God stripped me of the structure of my faith down to the foundation so that He could rebuild it.  In some ways I still feel like I’m recovering from that one, still reforming ideas and different understandings in many of the areas of my relationship with God.  Like I said it can be a very painful path, but so far, God has helped me find my way through.  I’m not sure that it is good, for some it even seems wrong, to me it just seems to be a bit different, but this process is probably very common in concept to what most Christians go through I think.

I can’t help but to feel like anything that I have gone through has done anything but strengthen my relationship with God.  That statement may sound like an empty sentiment in an effort to justify, but I have been fortunate enough to be able to see and find understanding in almost everything that God has put me through to this point.  I am not naive enough to think that he wont put me through more things that I am not able to see reasoning for though.

In the coming weeks I’ll be blogging about some of the things I am still processing or feel that I have come to conclusion on.